Today I watched a very upsetting video that was recorded by a spectator whom had to witness, alongside many others, a tragic death due to racism. A black man named George Floyd was laying faced down on the asphalt with a white officer pressing his knee on Floyd’s neck with full force.The video went a bit over eight minutes long and this officer kept his knee on Mr. Floyd the whole time even after hearing this man say he couldn’t breathe. It broke my heart to watch all of this happen, but especially when Mr. Floyd called out for his mama. The spectators pleaded for help as they saw how unjust this was. There was another officer standing in front of this whole situation and it didn’t even seem like he ever took a look over his shoulder to see if Mr. Floyd was still conscious.
(This video is very graphic and hard to watch, please don’t watch it if you feel too sensitive to these events).
Why i’m choosing to speak about this is because these things are not new, yet some people choose to pretend racism does not exist. But where does this evil come from?
God reminds us to that “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” ~Jeremiah 17:9
In other words, we can’t follow every desire of our heart. God is love and if we don’t have love then we don’t have God in us. So what does this say about racism? Where is all this hate coming from? Certainly not from God. God loves justice and those who walk in righteousness.
I strongly believe that when we hold resentment, anger, and guilt towards people and even within God and ourselves it makes it extremely hard to love and be lovable. This isn’t just a racial thing, its a matter of the heart.
When we don’t know God, and I truly mean know God, because there’s a difference between knowing of God than really knowing Him in a personal level, we can hold on to guilt, anger, and resentment that will only lead us into spreading more negativity and to live in it even if we despise it.
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind; and love your neighbor as yourself.” ~Luke 10:27
I love this verse where Jesus reminds us of the most important commandments. First we must love the Lord our God, and then love our neighbor as ourselves. But how can we love our neighbor if we can’t love who we are? And how can we learn to love ourselves as we are if we don’t know our God first?
This season of quarantine has been a season of spiritual growth and deeper knowledge of whom God is for me. He has reminded me of where I’ve been, what He’s saved me from, His miracles, who’s I am, and especially whom I am because of Him. Life has tried to knock me down many times in my past as I grew up in messed up relationships, sexually abused, depression, suicidal thoughts/attempt, divorce and so on… But God….But God has saved me from all of these things and because of Him I’m learning what love really means. What it truly means to forgive because I am forgiven by Him. I’m no longer a slave to sin, to guilt, to shame, to the thought of needing a spouse to feel complete. No, through God and the blood of Jesus Christ I am saved by grace, and if He forgave me, then I can forgive myself and those whom hurt me by learning to see with the eyes of God and not my own.
This world and its people are created by God. We are His. People are not created evil, but there’s evil in this world. Nothing is impossible with God if we only seek Him and know Him and allow Him to heal us. It won’t be easy, but it’s worth it. Even the evil spirits recognized Jesus, son of God, and they obeyed Him, read Mark 1:23-26. We need to lean into the word of God and allow Him to heal us, even when it’s hard.
Trust God, and Do Good…