Depending what part of the world you may be at this very moment, i’m assuming your life is still quite not “back to normal” as far as meeting up with friends at restaurants or simple gatherings. As I journey this season of uncertainty as a single, I thing about all the others who may be in their own season of singleness and how they may be using this time. Perhaps you reading this right now are one of them so I’m glad you’re here. 🙂
For someone like myself that met her ex-husband over ten years ago on MySpace, I’m honestly not on edge about hopping onto online dating apps to meet a potential husband. I tried one called “Coffee Meets Bagel” once about a year ago, and decided to delete it almost three days after I signed up. Don’t get me wrong, there were options of what seemed like could have been great guys, but for some reason I felt awkward about me having to make the first move messaging them after they had “liked” my profile. I couldn’t do it, and I simply didn’t want that to be the story of how i’d meet “the potential one.”
Everyone has and will have a unique story of how they will meet “the one” and that’s great! Our love stories are meant to be unique.
For many years, I made decisions that often didn’t involve my parents approval. Most guys I dated were older than me, they would either be someone whom lived near by my neighborhood, on MySpace, a party, or at my first job. It didn’t really matter where I met that person, I honestly just wanted to have a boyfriend. If he liked me, I liked him back. If we had the same taste in music, that was a win. If he payed enough attention to me, that was enough. I just wanted to feel known and cared for.
Looking back now at the age of 28 and single, I realize how naive I was. I didn’t have a clue about values much less about whom I was. After loosing my virginity at eighteen to my, now ex-husband, I thought I had to marry him or else i’d never be loved again because I was “dirty.”
A few years after separating from him, I allowed myself to fall involve again. I was living at my very own first apartment when I met someone. Before I met him I had promised myself that I would never let a guy come in especially if i was by myself. That promise went out the door real quick and things moved very quickly between him and I. As time went by he chose to move in with me and we decided to live like everyone else, having sex outside of marriage. I “felt” like it was right because I thought I wasn’t worthy to start over again the right way. What I failed to realize was that I was very broken inside, I didn’t know I needed healing, nor did I know I had the opportunity to start over and be forgiven for the sins I had committed.
Maybe this is where you find yourself now. You’re feeling less than or unworthy to be loved because of what you have done. You think you don’t deserve a good husband or wife because you feel like damaged goods.
Well let me tell you that you CAN start over and that you ARE worthy to be loved. But it starts with you and it’s impossible to do without accepting God’s love for yourself. Jesus Christ, son of God, died on the cross for you. This is how our sins are forgiven, by accepting Jesus’s love and sacrifice for us, not because we earned it or deserve it, but because He is graceful towards us regardless of what we have done or will do. Receive it as a free gift by proclaiming that He is your Lord and savior. The more you lay down your own life for Him and spend time in His word, the more you recognize whom He is and whom YOU are. He created you on purpose and for a purpose.
I won’t lie to you and say that I regret my past because I really don’t. It’s made me who I am today and it’s given me purpose and new passion. God can set you free from past regrets and shame as well.
You may be asking what all this has to do with letting God rewrite your love story, but it has everything to do with it. If you give your life to Him, He will reshape and renew your heart and your desires. HE has the power to help you start over and if one of your desires is to have a husband or wife, He will shape you into the best version of yourself for that future husband or wife He will bring into your life.
You are worthy to be loved and seen.
Let God rewrite your love story.
“When God Writes Your Love Story,” Is a book I read I while back as I began my personal journey to learn what it means to be a single girl in the Christian world. It’s helped me trust God through this season of singleness and through life in general as I continue to learn what it means to let Him guide me.
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