Hello my beautiful friends!
Okay, so today’s topic is one of my favorite things to talk about. I’ve always had a passion for relationships (mainly romantic relationships,) but now as a new born Christian i’m even more intrigued on all aspects of it. Friendships, relationships with believers and unbelievers, and marriages you name it I want to learn more about it! But in this post, I want to focus more on romantic relationships and my approach to them before I was an active believer and the now as my new life of a new born Christian.
When I was fourteen years old was when my first dating experience began. I fell in-love with the idea of always having someone to call my boyfriend and the feeling of being wanted or significant. Every guy I dated from fourteen, to my ex-husband, and to my ex-fiance were all very similar yet unique experiences. I submitted to each one of them almost instantly because that’s what I thought I had to do. I wanted to earn their love and respect by me completely focusing on them and turning away from my friendships or whatever activities I had going on as a single girl. Let me put it this way, I idolized all of these relationships because I didn’t know any better.
At eighteen, I ended up marrying my ex-husband (whom was nine years older than me,) mainly because I had felt guilty for going too far with him. I had never been with anyone else despite the many relationships I had been in so once I did well, I felt I had no choice but to marry him. While that marriage ended in divorce within less than five years, I entered into a new relationship a year later. And guess what? Despite all of my failed relationships and now marriage, I still chose to submit and idolize this new relationship too. After my marriage ended and seeing how this world was simply giving into sex so freely outside of marriage, this new romance moved fairly quickly and it seemed normal to me. I mean, everyone else was doing it, right? I wasn’t a virgin anymore after all.
Fast forward to summer of 2017 after that new romance was on and off for two years, we both chose to give ourselves to Christ and live a new life. This meant giving up our old ways, not living together and yes, no more sex. As new born Christians, it was hard to keep an already unstable relationship while trying to have a personal relationship with Christ. We were once again on an on and off cycle and after being engaged for about three months we ended it for good. All sin has its consequences.
Nine months later and my single life as a Christian gal has been quite an experience. Honestly, this is the most alive and complete i’ve ever felt in my entire life. I’ve continued to learn more about myself, life, and especially about God. I’ve learned that singleness is such a beautiful season to be in as I enjoy time with people I love, doing things I enjoy, and especially have soooooo much time alone with God and getting to know Him for who He is. He’s my lover, my redeemer, my bridegroom, and my greatest love story…
Now of course i’m enjoying every moment of my singleness, but as I continue to abide in Christ, I also continue to learn about myself and what He wants me to change. My desire to be a wife hasn’t changed at all, I still long for marriage. Except, now i’m learning Gods way of relationship. I learned that I was never intended to submit to all of the men I dated and I most definitely was never supposed to indulge in any sort of sexual desire with them. Although my intentions were good my timing was not.
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” ~Ephesians 5:22
Did you catch that? Submit to your own husband. It doesn’t say to just any man in your life. According to God’s design, every expression of love, emotion, and physical desire should be treated as sacred, savored and treasured by one man and one woman within a lifelong marriage covenant.
For this reason I deeply desire to be that spotless bride. I want to remain pure in mind, heart, soul and body for my future husband. I want to respect him all the days of my life. And now that i’m learning God’s design for marriage, I pray for His wisdom and guidance as I pray for strength to endure whatever temptation comes my way from now on. I know it won’t be easy because it hasn’t been, but if Jesus Christ is the central focus of our lives, He provides power to be victorious in areas where we would fail on our own. It is strength learned through persevering; it is integrity gained through waiting. The longer this sanctuary is faithfully guarded, cultivated, and beautified, the more enchanting it will become.
“Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right.” ~Song of Songs 2:7
I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I know Gods ways are better than mine and i’m learning to let go and letting Him write my love story, even if it scares me…
Be strong, and have courage…
Trust God, and do good… 🙂