Hello my beautiful friends!
If you have been following my weekly blogs, you might have come across my What’s My Purpose In Life? blog post I did a few weeks ago where I shared with you my desire to know what my purpose in life is. Well, earlier this week I finished my forty days of discovering what my purpose is. Honestly, this book “A purpose driven life” by Rick Warren, was more challenging than I expected. The more I read the more I learned about God’s character which is a beautiful image, but also my own character, which sometimes I felt proud to see that I have been on track in many ways yet upset when I was forced to see the ugliness as I searched deeper into my heart.
I can’t lie to you, but when I discovered the ugly sides of my own heart I was tempted to beat myself up for it. I noticed myself fall back into my typical binge eating cycle where i’d eat unhealthy sugary foods like as if that would change my past or fix my present and future. How do I allow my emotions dictate how I should treat my body?!? The truth is though, I know it won’t fix anything! I guess I do this to punish myself but more so because I’m impatient with myself and I want to know how to resolve or fix a problem quick. But that’s not how life works, especially as a Christian. God wants us to confess and repent daily and to thank Him for ALL that He does in our lives. Yup, both the failures and succeses.
Last night, I sat in my office just staring at my wall as I smelled my lavender leaf and sage candle burn. In the beginning of this week, I had gone back to read my journal entries that go back into the beginning of this year and I realized how this year seems to be a year of surrender for me. I had to surrender a marriage proposal, a big project for my business, and recently a friendship that I cherished a lot. I cried as I placed my head on my desk thinking about how could God keep taking things away from me. It’s almost like He’s teasing me by giving me these desires and then asking me to give them back. But you know what? This time, I didn’t cry for long. I sat back up and He helped me see the bigger picture. Yes, He’s asked me to surrender many things in the las eleven months, but He’s also been answering my prayers! He has been changing me into that woman He needs me to be. My pain is becoming my ministry. Not only is He transforming me and answering my prayers, He’s helping me learn how to have and be joyful in whatever season I’m in.
Finally this morning I was able to write down my purpose…
“My purpose in life is to LOVE and fear the Lord with ALL of my heart, to become the woman He NEEDS me to be (made into His image,) to SERVE Him by using my spiritual gifts and talents wherever He guides me, by SHARING my experiences, failures, and growth in order to help guide my family, friends, and those whom He places in my life to bring HIM glory and that HIS will be done.”
My friends, life is not easy and God never said it would be. But our lives are not our own and we have to learn to carry our cross daily by handing over the pen to Him and allowing Him to write our story, and yes, including our love story. What gives me peace is knowing that He knows my heart and my desires. I know that I am where He needs me to be in this time of singleness and He’s teaching me patience, self-control, and how to live with joy no matter what.
“Give thanks to the Lord of hosts, for the Lord is good, for HIS LOVE endures forever!” ~Jeremiah 33:11
Be Strong, and Have Courage…
Trust God, and Do Good…