Hi friends! I want to share with you what’s been going on in my life lately. These past few days have been quite a journey. I’ve cried a few times going to bed and waking up in the morning. Why? I didn’t know why nor did I understand what was going on. I prayed to God and asked Him to search my heart time and time again. This morning while walking my dogs, I remembered that back in the book of Genesis after Adam and Eve sinned they hid from God because of their shame. God then asked them “where are you?” (Genesis 3:9). Obviously God knew exactly where they were, but what He really meant was where’s your heart?
I had been working on a big project for a while that involved huge risks and a lot of faith. While I prayed and asked for guidance and waited for answers, God seemed to be making a way and opened doors that only He could open. September 13, after a few hiccups I was finally set to go and start bringing this project to live. Yes! I was sooo excited about it. It felt right! I mean, how could it not have if I was being obedient and God was providing??
A few days pass by and nothing is happening. I continue to pray yet this time I become anxious and I’m not having peace about this project anymore, especially concerning what I was studying through scripture. September 26, with the help of a dear friend, I sent out an email canceling everything. I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders and a peace that surpasses all understanding. Wow! I knew I had done the right thing, yet as I went back to work and a few clients asked me how my project was going I began to feel sad again because I had surrendered a project that I had envisioned for so long and was working hard towards it. I’m not going to lie, I felt a bit angry this morning. Why did God make a way for me to go through with it only for me to later surrender it?!? This reminded me of Moses in the Bible where He is faithful to God and in the end God simply lifts him up and tells him that he still won’t get to enter the promised land (Deuteronomy 34). What!?!
So where was my heart?
My heart and eyes were not fixed on God. I wanted physical pleasure, material possession, and to feel significant. I was deceived again by wanting to please and glorify myself instead of God. That’s were my sadness was coming from…
“For Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be glory forever. Amen.” ~Romans 11:36
When we choose to follow God, it doesn’t mean that life will be perfect. We’re choosing to surrender all to Him for His glory. Yes, it’s hard to step away from our old selfish ways, but God through Jesus Christ equips us to do it all. All glory goes to Him. I can honestly say that what He’s helped me surrender to has had a purpose and will always have one. Walking away from a marriage proposal this past February has blessed me with accepting that I’m deeply loved and complete with God. And now, surrendering this project has blessed me with understanding more of who God is and why I’m here on earth…
It’s not about us, It’s about Him…
Trust God, and Do Good 🙂
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