Ugh, forgiveness! It’s so easy to know we can be forgiven, but when it comes to us having to ask for forgiveness (even when you’re not at wrong according to you,) it seems so traumatizing. Right when you get the guts to to apologize or accept an apology, all those negative feelings and thoughts about that person who did you wrong come back to your mind bringing you that same feelings of disappointment. The hurt strikes you once again and you feel like “punishing” that person by not accepting to forgive/apologize.
So, why should YOU forgive? Because no matter the circumstance, the pain caused has already happened, and there’s no way to travel back in time to change things. That person that caused you pain perhaps didn’t even realize that their actions would hurt you so bad. If this person you developed resentment towards doesn’t understand your pain, the only person that is in bondage is YOU.
I like to think of every person as an object from Goodwill (thrift store.) Every single item you’ll find comes with a background; a scratch, a dent, and a stain.
After my divorce, I thought that the day we finalized everything on our court date that i’d be free. I gave Him a hug and thanked him for the experience we had and that I had learned a lot by it. At that moment I felt at peace because I had “forgiven” him from all the pain that he had caused. Little did I know that once I gave love a second chance, those scars would remain visible. Anything that would trigger my mind to think that this new relationship would fail like my marriage, would cause me to have a negative reaction. I honestly had no idea that this was a sign of un-forgiveness from my heart. Only if I would have known this before, I would have never let my past rule my future.
You see, we can all forgive verbally, but it’s from the heart that we should forgive. Not only does the offender get released from the “debt they owe us,” but helps you move on at peace with your present and future. Forgiving someone or asking for forgiveness does not mean that you have to keep this person in your life. Nor does forgiving means to forget. You can forgive and allow God to guide you to the path He wants you to go. Without forgiveness, the Holy Spirit is unable to guide which gives you; peace, joy, patience, love, kindness, and self-control.
Look back into your life and see all that God has forgiven you for that you might not have even deserved. If He forgives, then so should we, not only seven times, but seventy-seven times and on…
I challenge you to read Matthew 18:21-35, “The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant” and allow it to convict you as well. Honestly though, the whole chapter 18 in Matthew is AMAZING! I hope you give it a shot 😉
Trust God, and Do Good…